I received these in one of those chain e-mails, the kind you are supposed to forward–which I hate to do.  But these really were just too cute to pass up, so rather than forward them (like my wife did), I chose to post them here.

 Enjoy, and remember…a good, hearty, belly-laughing guffaw is healthy!

I hope you enjoyed these and laughed as I did!

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mattb

Many are mistaken to think that only Roman Catholics and Anglicans and the like have liturgy.  Most every church orders their worship in some way, shape, or form and so therefore have liturgy.  The difference is in how we order our worship.

At my church, we start with a call to worship, a sin offering (confession and absolution of sins), an ascension/burnt offering (ascending into the presence of our Lord–with the reading and preaching of the Word), the grain/tribute offering (tithes and offerings), the peace offering (Lord’s Supper), and the Benediction (blessing and commission).

Others have their own, as reported by Tom in the Box News Network…

Here is 2nd Calvary’s new worship schedule:
Listen Up! (Announcements)
Look It Up! (Scripture Reading)
Hands Up! (Praise and Worship time)
Stick ‘Em Up! (Offeratory time)
Freshen Up! (Breath Mints, etc.)
Shake It Up! (Greet one another time)
Give It Up! (Soloist or Special Music)
Shut Up! (Sermon)
Wake Up! (Invitational)

Everyone has a liturgy…

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mattb 

So this is what I would look like if I were a Simpson…

Make yours here.

(HT:  LoHud Yankees Blog – yes, I’m a Yankees fan!)

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mattb

Orthodox Deviation has a post developing some thoughts on maturity versus merit, where he pointed some things about Christ’s maturing, as well as the connection between corporate maturity and the progressive revelation of truth.  His thoughts have spurred some of my own:

Hebrews 2:10 For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings.

Hebrews 5:8-9 Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered; 9 And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him;

The idea that Adam was to mature in his relationship with God, rather than merit or earn his eternal relationship with God is hotly contested in the covenant of works debate.  But even the second Adam matured into His role as the captain of our salvation, the author of our eternal relationship with God.

This maturity helps us to see the reason for God’s progressively revealing truth to us, both corporately throughout history, as well as personally throughout our individual lives.  Hence, the reason for personal sanctification (our maturing throughout our lives) and corporate sanctification (the Bride’s maturing throughout history).

Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

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mattb

We know that our dispensational friends and brothers are out there, supporting Israel unconditionally, and this is an unscriptural, ungrounded belief (see my post on this here).  Not just the support of Israel for eschatological reasons, but especially the support of Israel unconditionally! 

However, some of us may not really understand how seriously it affects their political views.  Dispensationalism has turned otherwise peace-loving, God-fearing Christians into WARHAWKS!  These men and women are supporting a pre-emptive attack on Iran (and any other who opposes Israel) in the name of this unconditional, eschatological support for Israel–and they refuse to hear opposition in the process. 

The non-Christian, Max Blumenthal, interviewed some participants (to include Tom DeLay and John Hagee) at the recent Christians United for Israel conference in Washington, D.C.  Amazing what he shows.

Rapture Ready: The Unauthorized Christians United for Israel Tour

(HT:  ChalcedonBlog)

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mattb

Romans 1:26-27 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet.

According to Paul, in this account of his in Romans, homosexual behavior is unnatural.  It is unnatural for a man to lie with another man, it is unnatural for woman to lie with woman.  It is even unnatural for one to even lust after another.  Furthermore, it is not just that the lusting and the activity are unnatural, but homosexuality is also something God gives man up to.  Read verse 26 again, “for this cause God gave them up…”  For what cause did God give them to homosexual desires?

Romans 1:22-23 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23 And changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

Romans 1:25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshiped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

God gave them up to homosexual affections because they were idolatrous, because they worshipped the corruptible, the created.

Yet, man and science will tell us that animals regularly engage in homosexual activity.  Homosexuality is natural for animals, man is an animal, therefore homosexuality is natural for man.  What is the Biblical response to such an argument?  Ultimately, the difference is in how man was created.

Westminster Shorter Catechism
Q10:  How did God create man?
A:  God created man male and female after His own image, in knowledge, righteousness, and holiness, with dominion over the creatures.

This is not true of animals.  Animals were not created in this way.  They are base creatures, following base desires.  Man, while being depraved and therefore given over to such base desires, is commanded to live in knowledge, righteousness, and holiness.  He is called to cleave unto one wife, to avoid the lusts of the flesh, the eyes, and the world.  Animals are not and cannot be.  Therefore what is natural for them, is not automatically natural for us.

Consider the mating habits of some insects.  The praying mantis engages in sexual cannibalism, with the female eating the male after breeding.  This is a ‘natural’ activity for the praying mantis, yet would be an abhorrent one among humans, an abomination before God.  Could a woman eat her mate, post-intercourse, and use the ‘natural’ activity of the praying mantis as her defense?  If she cannot, which she can’t, then why can the homosexual use it as a defense for his abominable activity?

As the Word of God says, homosexuality is an abomination, it is unnatural, and it is the result of man’s idolatry.  For more on this topic, I recommend this MercatorNet article.

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mattb

I blogged some time ago about the record-breaking profits of abortion clinics, along with a link to the Gary DeMar radio show in which he and his guest discussed how so many of these clinics have been shut down nationwide (a program I still heartily recommend).

David Bayly (at the BaylyBlog) has posted more on the topic of abortion clinics and how the church ought to deal with them.  It can be found here.

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mattb

This is more of a question than a post.

I read or heard somewhere that John Calvin once said something along the lines of (which means this is a loosely paraphrased quotation), ‘why say it when you can sing it?’  That has stuck with me, whether it be true or no, and has got me to want to introduce more singing, when possible, into the worship service of my church.

For the life of me, I cannot find any kind of sheet music or chords (or audio files for that matter) for prayers like the Lord’s Prayer, etc.

Additionally, I have wanted (for a very long time) to find audio files of psalms and hymns broken into parts.  So that you would have one file for the bass, one for the tenor, and so on that way each could learn his part independently and then come together to make beautiful music.

Is there anyone out there who knows where to find this stuff?

Thanks!
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mattb

As a fan of Bono (and U2, obviously) I find this quite funny, and applicable! 

(HT:  Pyromaniacs)

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mattb

I am far from being a reliable source on all things Harry Potter.  In fact, to date, I’ve only read the first two books.  But let me explain why I am so far behind.

I was long a part of the Christian tradition that would have gladly participated in a good ol’ fashioned Harry Potter book-burning.  After all, Harry Potter used magic and magic is evil, therefore, Harry Potter is evil.  For more on this, read here and here, oh yeah, and here.  And I must admit, the latter is quite convincing.

But alas, as you can see, I have strayed from the old landmarks and have begun turning the pages of the Harry Potter books.  So you may ask, why?  Well, it began with my reading this and this and this (and “this” number 3’s part two).  Nonetheless, I still had to face the charges that J.K. Rowling was twisting the ugliness of sin into something good, trying to make it wholesome (that kids would pick up on and want to participate in), and this is just plain wrong–this is the charge levied by “here” number 3, above.

The verse most often cited to validate such a charge is 1Sa 15:23, which is usually re-phrased to say that witchcraft is the sin of rebellion (against God).  This is then taken to mean that any and all magic (which is lumped into witchcraft) is rebellion against God, including the “good” magic of Harry Potter. 

First, one must ask these fine folks if they make the same charges against C.S. Lewis’ brand of magic in the Narnia series, and if not, why not?  And then, again, do they make the same claims against J.R.R. Tolkien’s magic in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy (and The Hobbit).  Many are inconsistent and do not, but this argument will only work against those.  For those who are consistent, we must press further.

And so next, we have to consider what the differences are (if any) between the witchcraft of the Bible and the magic of Narnia, Middle Earth, and Hogwarts?  Amazingly, we find no positive uses of magic in the Bible.  Every single Biblical example of anything referred to as witchcraft is actually being used to rebel against God.  Consider Saul’s visiting a witch (necromancer, in this case) to get advice from Samuel, something he needed to do because God had left him.  Further, the pagan nations use of witchcraft was again tied directly to their rebellion against God (see also Pharaoh’s magicians mimicking Moses).  It was the manifestation of their rebellion.  It is easy to see why God would compare the two, rebellion and witchcraft.  However, when we see “magical” things being done that are not in rebellion against God, they are not referred to as acts of witchcraft, but rather miracles.  The Bible may not necessarily use the language of “magic” but that is exactly what it would look like to us and them.  Imagine, for example, floating axeheads (2Ki 6:5-6), leprosy being cleansed (2Ki 5:10-14), walking on water (Ma 14:29), shadows that heal (Act 5:15), etc. 

I believe the real differece, using Biblical language, is that witchcraft is used as an act of rebellion, whereas miracles are those things done for good (justice, mercy, compassion, etc.)  And I believe that the same can be seen in Narnia, Middle Earth, and Hogwarts.  The Dark Arts, black magic, etc. is that magic (witchcraft) used in rebellion against God, against goodness, justice, mercy, and compassion.  And the good magic, the deep magic of Aslan, is that magic (akin to miracles) done according to what God desires (goodness, justice, mercy, and compassion).

So then, as we approach these books, and allow our children to, we must keep these things in mind and instruct our children in them.  They must understand these things.  And they must understand that the worldviews of these authors are not perfectly Christian, either (although some are better than others).  Harry Potter does seem to be a somewhat rebellious child, and his disobedience is sometimes honored rathered than chastened, but this doesn’t make the whole series evil.  These are things that we can use to instruct and teach our children to be discerning as they read (or watch, or hear!)

So there we have it.  My justification for promoting the Harry Potter series (thus far) and the Chronicles of Narnia and The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings.  Put down your can of gasoline and pack of matches (use them for lighting your next cigar!) and pick up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and enjoy a good, entertaining read.  You’ll be surprised, there are some excellent Christian themes contained therein!

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mattb